What I've Become
by bloodydarkwolf
Summary: Wormtail is thinking about all the lives hes destroyed and how he betrayed all his friends.


**Disclaimer: **again I own nothing

**Warning: **for the most part I guess you could say its just sad. Not really for kids

James, Lily, Sirius, Remus. My friends. No. Not anymore. Oh please, forgive me. I didn't want this to happen. The Dark Lord, he made me do it. He said if I didn't tell him where you were that he would kill me. I didn't want to die. I was frightened.

_What would you have done? What would you have done?_

I was confused. That's no excuse, I know. You were my best friends. My _only _friends. James, Sirius, I would have done anything for you. Remus, I was there to help comfort you while you went through the torment of your transformation. Oh, what am I saying? James and Sirius where there for you. I only hid in the corner and cowered. What could I do? I was only a rat. You came at me once. Did you know? Did we ever tell you? No. I don't think so. James protected me and Sirius fought you off. You would have felt so bad about it. You never wanted to hurt me or anyone else.

_What would you have done? What would you have done?_

James. You were always there for me. You trusted me to know where you and Lily were hiding. You wanted me to stay in touch. I was all alone at first. No one would come near me. But you did. You and Sirius and Remus, you befriended me. I idolized you. I didn't want you out of my sight. You were such a great wizard. So full of life and jokes. You cared about all of us. You wouldn't let anyone tease me. That's how I met you. Do you remember? Some girls were teasing me about my teeth. You came in and told them to leave me be or you would throw them into the lake. It was amazing. You would follow a girl off the edge of a cliff if she was pretty enough. But you stood by me.

_What would you have done? What would you have done?_

Oh Lily. Pretty does not even begin to describe you. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Sublime. The most beautiful witch at school. I liked you almost as much as James did. But you would never love me. Yet you were kind to me also. You helped me with my homework. You once told a group of Slytherin boys that if any of them messed with me that you would personally ensure they all ended up in St. Mungo's.

_What would you have done? _ _What would you have done?_

Sirius. You too. I betrayed you too. You knew it was me who told The Dark Lord where they were. You knew Remus would die first and so would you, before telling where your best friends were. You came after me. I thought you might actually kill me. You drew your wand. You had a perfect chance. But then you began to cry. _'Why, Wormtail? Why did you do it? They cared about you. How could you Peter? You betrayed you best friend. _**My**_ best friend.'_ I couldn't even answer. I just appirated and left my finger behind so that everyone would think you had killed me. And they did. Even Remus thought so. He was devastated. He had lost James, Lily, 'me', and now you were in Azkaban. He was alone. Completely alone. They thought you were a follower of The Dark Lord, accept Remus. He knew you never even would have dreamt of it.

_What would you have done? What would you have done?_

Harry Potter. The only thing left of my best friend and I am aiding in your downfall as well. You blame The Dark Lord for you becoming an orphan. But it was my fault. Do you see that? I am the one who lead him to your parents. I am the one who showed him where they were, how to get in. And yes, I told him they had you. I told him how James and Lily adored you and would give anything for you. I had never seen you before, but I knew that those two caring people, who once cared about me, would be the most loving parents in the world. While I saw those flashes of green in the window, I was thinking of that. I was wondering how you would be like. What sort of things your parents would have done with you. I know only this; they would have been the best parents in the world. I saw you, that first time on the train. For a moment I did think you were James, but then I saw your eyes. Lily's eyes. So amazing. You didn't know that you were right in front of the man who was responsible for destroying your life while you were only a baby. I can never ask you to forgive me. I can't even forgive myself. So finally, Harry Potter, I ask you…

_What would you have done? What would you have done?_

The Dark Lord. Master. I did everything you asked of me. I betrayed my only friends. They all trusted me. And I betrayed them. You trust me. Yet I cannot betray you, because then I would have lost everyone. You are all I have left. That's what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted to make sure that I could not change sides so you made me destroy all other ties I had. And you succeeded. I have no one accept you now. I can't leave because then I would be alone again. My largest fear. James saved me from it, once. But you made me give him up. And just by doing that I destroyed every friendship I ever had. That's right. I have no friends now. Only a master who could care less about me. I brought you back because I needed you. I didn't even have that red haired boy anymore. All I can do is sit back and watch you as you continue to try to destroy Harry Potter. The son of my best friend. The boy who I'd never even met when I betrayed him, too.

_Look what I have done. What you made me become._

The End


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